Penilian

Penilian
Members	Cassandra Damien (fanon) Magyar (pet) Ghettobots (creations) Other unnamed members
Status	Ongoing
Debut	Pico's School (1999)
Latest appearance	Pico's School: Love Conquers All (2021)

"The humans will soon fear their own kind like never before, and Earth will be primed for our rule!"

―A Penilian, Pico 2

The Penilians are a single-gender race of malevolent shapeshifting aliens and one of the main antagonists in the Pico series and related media. They are interdimensional beings, and possible time-travelers, with plans for world domination. They are directly responsible for the school shooting massacre that occurred during the events of Pico's School. In Pico's School: Love Conquers All, it is revealed that since Penilians are all the same gender, gay relationships are the norm for them, so homophobes were one of their reasons for destroying Earth. Whether this is actually true in the main story is unknown, as this is set in an alternate timeline.

They appear in Pico's School, Samurai Asshole, and UFA. They also make cameo appearances in several other games and movies, including Pico's Cousin 2 & Newgrounds Rumble.

General information

A higher resolution depiction of a Penilian (presumably Cassandra) from Newgrounds Rumble.

Physical appearance

Penilians are massive aliens, at least 14ft tall, if not even larger. They have bright yellow eyes with large round black pupils, sharp-pointed horns all over their heads and bizarre pointy mouths that resemble gray mustaches with bright red goatees. They have sharp claws on their hands and constantly seem to be scowling even when their emotions are neutral. In some ways, their faces resemble schnauzer dogs. Penilians also seem to have no sense of modesty and appear to be hypersexual, exposing their genitals in public and only wearing bright-red shorts in private. In MindChamber’s designs, their eyes are instead colored orange and their horns are now a lighter gray.

Powers and abilities

Penilians possess a number of dangerous abilities, including the ability to shoot lasers from their eyes or horns, toss sharp black spears made of organic matter, and shapeshift. Their shapeshifting ability is so powerful, it allows them to easily change sizes and resemble humans with perfect accuracy; the only drawback being that they retain certain characteristics of their alien forms while disguised. Their physical bodies seem to be highly malleable and entire sections can be changed on a whim.

The species seems to have reversed genitals. In her Penilian form, Cassandra has a penis. In Pico's Cousin 2, a different Penilian by the name of Damien has large breasts in his form. Furthermore, in both cases, these genitals are designated weak points that, when attacked, would cause massive damage. However, given the highly malleable nature of Penilians' bodies, it is likely they don't have a biological sex system and simply "switch out" private parts as needed.

Penilians "probing" some humans.

Personalities

Personality-wise, the Penilians are extreme, vile sadists. They take great pleasure in killing humans, to the point of rewarding those who murder them "with style". Their sadism is further exemplified by their tendency to "probe" any abducted humans, which seems to be something they do simply because they find it humorous. Their goal is to terrorize the humans into establishing a totalitarian state, facilitating the rise of alien overlords on Earth. Penilians also seem to be highly manipulative; in both Cassandra and Damien's case, they took advantage of people who identified with the Gothic subculture in order to make them commit horrible acts of violence.

History

Cassandra's true form revealed.

Pico's School

The first appearance of a Penilian is at the end of Pico's School. After Pico calls out Cassandra and her surviving friends for being posers, Cassandra admits she never cared about goth subculture and had "bigger plans". After murdering her two companions, she transforms into her Penilian form and a battle ensues. Cassandra is killed when Pico shoots off her penis, causing it to squirt out blood.

A pair of Penilians planning their attack.

Samurai Asshole

The Penilians make a brief cameo appearance in Samurai Asshole. In ancient times, two Penilians witness Samurai Asshole boarding a spaceship and taking off into space. The two observe that humans have apparently achieved space travel. One questions if it is time to invade Earth, but the other dismisses this, stating that the humans are under the protection of "gods" (such as Draco, whom the Samurai previously killed) and attacking now would be suicide. He explains that once the humans lose faith in their gods and are abandoned by them, Earth will be easier to take over.

UFA

The Penilians and their spaceship.

In UFA, the Penilians were finally given a starring role. Set 100 years after the events of Pico's School, Pico had apparently taken over the Ghettobots and become the ruler of the world, making the Penilians too fearful to try attacking it again. However, now that Pico has died of old age, the Penilians make their return and massacre the human population. They also delight in abducting the surviving humans to have "anal probe competitions", purely for their own amusement.

The Penilians not only slaughter humans, but also reward their soldiers for killing humans in insane, creative ways like dropping them from a great height, or into a wood chipper. They have also allowed a great space beast, a "Magyar" to take up residence in the Grand Canyon, where they feed him humans, carefully making sure not to accidentally enrage him by killing his food or hurting his sensitive eyes with their ships' lasers. Though the Penilians are sadists with little empathy for lesser creatures, they seem to hold genuine affection for their pet monster and take feeding him very seriously.

Damien in his Penilian form.

Pico's Cousin 2

The plans and motivations of the Penilian race are fully explained in Pico's Cousin 2. Damien, another member of the species, recruits a new group of goths and takes over a nursing home while kidnapping the father & grandmother of Otis, as well as his cousin Pico. Otis confronts Damien, who reveals their suspicions of Pico's family having a "warrior's gene" that makes them naturally adept fighters. The original massacre in Pico's School was masterminded to eliminate Pico as a threat (either through capture or execution), and once it failed, the Penilians then attempted to subdue several members of Pico's family at once. This second attempt fails when Otis defeats Damien and destroys his spaceship, thwarting the Penilians' plan once again.

Although the game was a collaborative effort between various prominent Newgrounds members and had Tom Fulp's approval, its canonical status is unconfirmed. However, Fulp has never posted anything to dispute it.

Pico's School: Love Conquers All

The Penilians are given a more sympathetic portrayal in Pico's School: Love Conquers All. Here, Cassandra becomes friends with Pico after the latter convinces the former not to act out her plans of world domination, and the two tour the school together to prove that humanity isn't as bad as she thinks. In the ending, Cassandra reveals that all Penilians are gay, and the reason they're targeting Earth is that they believe all Earthlings are homophobic. However, Pico introduces her to his boyfriend, making her realize that Earthlings aren't all bad. She then reveals that she is a furry, leaving the boys shocked and confused, though whether this means that all Penilians are also furries is unknown. However, as this game takes place in an alternate timeline, it is up for debate whether it's still canon in the original timeline.

Gallery

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  Cassandra in her Penilian form.

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  A Penilian as how they appear in UFA. Notice the removed genitals.

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  A Penilian speaking, as seen in UFA.

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  Back view of a Penilian, as seen in Samurai Asshole.

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  A Penilian's speech icon in Pico 2.

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  Damien, another Penilian.

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  Cassandra's Penilian transformation from Pico Roulette.

Trivia

• The name "Penilian" is presumably meant to be a portmanteau of "penis" and "alien".
• The iconic roar of the Penilians was directly sampled from the Godzilla film franchise.
  • This exact audio sample would later be re-used in another flash game by Tom Fulp during the Mecha Dragon boss fight in his Mega Man fan-game, Project EDDIE.
• Tom Fulp has stated that the Penilians' gender does not fit Earth categorization.
• Fans have visually compared Penilians to domestic Black cats, due to both having yellow eyes and fully black skin/fur.
• When asked if the Penilians could change into any other forms, Tom Fulp said it has yet to be determined.^{[citation needed]}
• UFA is the only game in the Pico franchise where the Penilians' genitals are not visible.
• At one point in Alien Hominid, the titular alien pilots a U.F.O. and uses the tractor beam to drop humans into a wood chipper in a direct reference to UFA.
• A Penilian makes a brief cameo in the FDA music video Taint of Love, where they are shown penetrating a man behind a bathroom stall at the "Blue Oyster Club", a gay bar.