Samurai Asshole/Transcript

newgrounds.com sneak preview
(game currently in development)

LOADING
PLAY
SAMURAI ASSHOLE

a Attack → Right
s Jump ← Left
d Block ↑ Up
q Hi/Lo Quality ↓ Down

Turn off the CAPS LOCK!

"To make a long story short, your master was the guest of honor at a dinner held by the three local religious leaders.

He choked on his chicken and died.

According to tradition, you must avenge his death. The three religious leaders will have to die!!!

Go get 'em!"

PLAY
(For real!)

"Please leave us alone.
I am sorry about your master.
We did everything we could. Please go home."

―Temple Guard

(The samurai is quickly summoned to the heavens by the gods.)

"No one slaughters my children and lives!"

―Draco

(A flaming scroll is summoned in the middle of the stage. The samurai uses it to return home.)

"You have challenged the gods, and you shall lose..."

―Draco

(The samurai boards a spaceship and flies into orbit. However, another UFO takes notice.)

"The people of earth have accomplished space travel? Perhaps it is time for our invasion."

―Penilian 1

"Oh goodness, no! The earth gods are much too strong for our puny physical weapons."

―Penilian 2

"So I suppose we must wait?"

―Penilian 1

"Yes. It is only a matter of time until the people of earth forget about their gods.
When that day comes, the gods will abandon them and we will take control."

―Penilian 2

"Should we go kill the human in the spaceship?"

―Penilian 1

"It would be a waste of energy. His existence will have no significance when we invade."

―Penilian 2

meanwhile...

"Where am I? What is this place?
OH MY GOD!!!
What is that?!"

―Samurai Asshole

TO BE CONTINUED!!!

What has our brave young asshole stumbled across? What horrors could possibly be in store for him on this god-forsaken place?
Find out in the next update of:
SAMURAI ASSHOLE!!!

What will it be? I DON'T KNOW!

SO DON'T ASK!!!

PLAY AGAIN
NEWGROUNDS